Dear Diary...

 By Jedi-and

 

Disclaimer: I own as much as between the two lines - there is only one like I hear you cry, but there is two, but there is so little between them you can’t see a space. In short, I own nothing.

 

Authors note; Hiya. I’m back again, but I know you want me gone but… to all those people… NO! I’M HERE TO STAY! Ah so you have noticed the confidence boost. I had 3 totally random people e-mail me saying how much they like my fics! And I intend to continue! This is only a short fic about Brass’s diary this is set around about the time Brass was walking to the beach. It’s not totality accurate but I hope you enjoy.

 

Jedi-and

 

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“Brass? Where are you?” Erika walked downstairs. She heard a small squeak followed by a crash. She started to skip down the stairs faster to see what the trouble was. “Brass? What was that crash?”

“What’s the matter Miss Erika?” she looked at her. Brass seemed a little nervous

“Oh there you are brass!” she skipped the rest of the way down the stairs “I want you to robattle someone, just a small friendly match.” Brass looked at her incredulously, obviously wondering about who the other Medabot was.

“If you don’t mind me asking miss Erika, who is the other Medabot?”

“Why it’s Medabee!” Brass’ face flushed red as his name was spoken,

“No…”

“What?”

“I said NO!” Brass had never before doubted her judgment so why did she start now?

“What has gotten into you?”

 

“I’m sorry, I need to get some fresh air…” Brass ran up the stairs and out the house.

 

“Brass! Wait…” she noticed something out the corner of her eye, it was in the side of Brass’ chair. “Well, well what is this?” she pulled out the tattered picture of Metabee in a small painted wooden frame. “Oh Brass… is this why?” Brass had run off oblivious that she had left her diary in open view. Erika, although being a reporter, had not seen it yet, but was looking around the rest of Brass’ room. She came across a pile of paper where Brass had been drawing. Although she acted mature, she was a child inside and her pictures showed it. It was on a piece of A3 paper and was drawn in crayon. It had a lake, with Brass and Metabee. It was quite well done, though it still had some child like qualities. There where a few more, but mainly of herself and Metabee. By the pictures was a book on how to draw from the local library. It had a bookmark by mechanical drawing and figure drawing using Mechanical techniques. There where also some stories of her and Metabee, falling in love and things, like going to a beautiful beach and telling each other about how much they loved one another. Erika just awed at the fiction. She put them on the desk and looked through her desk. In it were a library card, some newspaper clippings, chores and a set of coloring pencils. She smiled and closed the draw. The next thing that caught her attention was a book with a Gold Medal on the front with a heart in it and in big letters on the front saying ‘Brass’ Diary... Keep out please!’ being a journalist she couldn’t resist and opened the book. The writing was scrappy at first done in crayon and in block capitals. Some letters where backwards but it improved, becoming gradually better and better before becoming very neat and almost script like. She noticed it was now done with a black calligraphy pen. She smiled and continued to read. Her face fell on the latest entry.

 

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Dear diary;

Today it happened...I figured out what had been happening to me and my heart was destroyed... again I am tormented by the love of others, but this time it was the love of the only thing in this world I truly feel for. Although I do not know these feelings yet, I feel strange around him and I find myself burning up when ever I am near his presence… for what cruel deed have I done to deserve such torment? Nothing... that is my deed and my punishment. Or perhaps it was my generosity or maybe my sheer blindness that made me relinquish my body... the mistake that decimated my heart... in my haste to find her body, to prove to him that I am kind and caring, I had forsaken my soul and my one chance of happiness. All I ever wanted was someone, some body, to look after me and love me. Damn you! Why did you come in to this? I was trapped in the Medawatch, powerless to even cry! And you took him away when I couldn’t even fight back! I felt downed in my anguish, like all the pain in the world had been forced in to my medal... I hate it. The pain and misery. What is it about me that turns boys away? Is it because my chest plate is that of a child? Is it because I have a blue hair helmet? What? I will change! I wish I could… but these useless guns that are bound eternally to me, are a painful reminder that I could never amount to anything and there for I could never get any new parts... I herd him! I heard him laugh! With her! He held MY hand and looked in to MY eyes to prove that he loved her through me! She sickens me. The one time, THE ONE TIME, he holds my body’s hand; I’m not the one in it. I tried to call out, to say something but I couldn’t. I don’t understand why. If I could cry I would cry for a century! And still not be done! I HATE YOU! I HATE ME! I HATE LIFE! It is cruel! It chews you up, spits you out and goes back for seconds. I’ve been used and tormented long enough. I’ve had my fill of pain but they are not done, forcing me to eat more sorrow, a vore of pain. I am so full of misery I could burst! Even when my heart was broken, even when your heart was broken, you still called out for her. Shouting out things like ‘my love’. You tore me apart yet I still am smitten for your affection! I cannot take much more! The countless nights I stayed up, rehearsing our moment of destiny on my own, hoping the next day I could describe how it felt. But it was not our destiny, but MY dream, my fantasy! No matter what I did, said or looked like, you will not change. Even after she left you had not changed one bit! They, the humans are not the one forcing me to eat sheer sorrow, it is you... you... the only object of my wildest dreams are forcing me to swell in depression, soon to explode with negative feelings. I have no one. My Medafighter uses me to do her chores, and her parents treat me as a toy, forcing me to live down here, only coming to the surface to do work. Scrub the floors, cleans my room, do my homework, get the shopping, clean the car, make the dinner, fix the TV, do THIS, do THAT, I’M SICK OF IT!!! They shouldn’t have called me Sailor Multi or Brass... they should have called me DAMN CINDERELLA!!! MY LIFE IS WORK AND SPENDING MY FREE TIME IN A BOX!!! I am not free like most Medabots, no... Instead of shutting down next to their friend, my masters put me in to the cupboard and takes my Medal, without MY permission. No one knows what it is like to have no freedom over your own body... any right of though or movement is restricted to housework. I stopped on the way home the other night and I got my hero’s autograph. Femjet gave me her signature to join the others I have, such as Warbandit and Sumillidon. She is an icon to all Femmes out there. Brave, courageous, strong and free. All the things I don’t have. But when I got home I was shouted at and locked in my box for 2 days. Erika was out on a trip and I had no one to even slightly defend me. I hate it all. I have decided to do a few things tonight. This is my last entry because a diary is a place to store your hopes and dreams... but know... I have none. The things I will do are these:

1)              I will burn ALL the drawings I did of Metabee and me.

2)              I shall plant a bomb on my rival for my one love.

3)              I will return the things I own and I shall break the TV of Erika’s stupid father.

4)              And finally... I shall end my life and keep my secrets within. still believing that he loves me and not her.

I shall do these things now. My last words are that Oceana should burn for what she did to me and I love you always Metabee... if only I had the courage to fight or you. Goodbye, my love.

Brass XXX

 

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Erika dropped the book and ran upstairs.

“MOM! Where is Brass?!?!?” Erika asked in a panic

“Well... um...” she put the spoon to her lips “I think she went down to the beach...” Erika raced out of the door to find her.

 

It was getting late and the sun was setting. She was running as fast as she could, hoping that her plan could not be fulfilled.

“Hey Erika. How are things?” she stopped and glared at him,

“Bad! Your Medabot has been playing with my Medabot’s heart like a drum! She wrote in her diary that she was going to commit suicide! I gotta find her!” Ikky just stared at her dumbfounded. 

 

“Wow... Brass keeps a diary?” was all Ikky could say, “Metabee keeps one too. It’s full of stuff about Brass and...” it had suddenly clicked in to his small head of his “BRASS IS GOING TO KILL HERSELF?!?!?” he ran down the street with Erika.

“This is all YOUR fault!” Erika shouted at him as they ran,

“HOW IS IT MY FAULT?!?” Ikky yelled at her,

“Well it’s your Medabot!”

“It’s not just Metabee’s fault!”

“Want to prove it?”

“When we get there we are having a robattle!” they both nodded and ran faster.

“...Well Medabee I… I have been thinking for a while about something which is happening to me… and I knew it had something to do with you and… well I…”

 

“So it’s official! This is an official submission robattle! You know the rules! ROOBAATTLEEE!!!” Brass and Medabee was broken from there own thoughts and looked around shocked, around them was Icky and Erika, Medawatches poised for a battle. With Mr referee clambering out of the sand, with great difficulty.

“Dude! What are you doing?!” Medabee turned to him and agitated would be an understatement.

“Robattling!  What else? Your going down Erika!”

“We will see icky! Go Brass! Fight him! Take his attitude down!” something quite unexpected happened...

“PLEASE. LEAVE. US. ALONE!”

  

The end

 

I know this is short but I wrote it just in half an hour. If you want more pages from Brass’ diary then just say okay? Take care and keep writing

Jedi-and

 


You can send questions and comments to: syonide_products@hotmail.com.